Oh Captain, my Captain
by Cotton1Candie
Summary: "Take a picture it'll last longer." Well that was a mistake. Shit. This jerk was fast. With a flick of his eyes he lunged at me, sending a kick my way. I was just able to block in with my arms. With a twist, I grab his leg and pull, hoping to throw him down to the ground and be done with it. Again, big mistake. LeviXoc
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Look I know that I have another story I'm working on hand have been for a while, but I couldn't help myself. I started watching Attack on Titan a while ago and just now went to re-watch and when this idea popped in my head.

I really hope you guts like it, I know there may be mistakes hidden in here somewhere, but there isn't much I can do about that. I'm a writer, not an editor.

Do not expect a new chapter really fast. I will try my best to get it out as fast as I can, but I am a busy woman. I have a kid and everything, so its hard enough to get it out.

 **I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN. JUST MY OWN PERSONAL CHARACTER.**

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The names Katerina Weis. I am twenty-five, and have been in the Survey Corps for about five years now. I'm one of the oldest members along with being one of the very few that have lasted this long without getting eaten, or killed by a titan. I have gotten bit by one, but all I got was a nasty scar from my left rib, up my back. Even though the Titan bit me all around, this was the only part the scared.

Today I get to meet my new Captain. I got transferred due to the discovery of a human named Eren Yeager who can turn himself into a titan. I was ordered to help keep watch, as the Captain would need it since he has to watch out for his entire team.

 **–**

I woke up at the same time that I do every day, 4AM, and got into a white tank top, and some black cargo pants. I threw on my running boots and threw my mid-back length, dyed red hair, in a ponytail. I make my way outside and start to stretch my legs and arms. It was a chilly morning, but I didn't mind. I like the cold so it all works out for me. After I was done stretching I started to jog my way around the camp. Everyone was still asleep. The first people to get up wouldn't wake till about five or six in the morning, so I had enough time to myself before having to have actual responsibilities.

By the time the sun was starting to show, indicating that it was about five-thirty, I was already back inside and in the communal showers, panting and turning on the shower. I strip down and catch myself in the mirror. My green eyes stared at green before they travel down to where my scar was. I run my hand along the part of the scar that was visible. Even though it happened a year ago, I still have nightmares about that day. I can still feel that titan's mouth slowly tearing my flesh open. I still don't know who saved me, the one who killed that titan. I know that the person belonged to the squad that I will be joining today, but that person was probably dead by now. I hop into one of the showers and start to wash up. I wonder what the new captain was like. I mean, he had to be good for staying alive for as long as he has. But I wonder if he will be cocky about it all, like all the other captains that I've had.

Who knows.

I turn off the water and grab a white towel to dry myself off. I walk out and to my bedroom to get changed into my uniform. I put my still damp hair in yet another ponytail as well. Even though today I was only going to meet my new team, and Eren Yeager, I still wore it anyways, the only part of the uniform I didn't wear was the 3DMG, seeing as I shouldn't need it today. I wasn't even going on rounds after, which was strange to say the least.

I got to the mess hall at around six-fifteen, there were only a few people there, but more were slowly arriving. I grab myself an apple, a bowl of porridge, and a cup of coffee, black. I sit down in a corner of the room, not like anyone would bother me. I don't make friends very easily. I apparently give people this look that says 'go away, or I'll kill you'. I don't see how though because I just have a neutral face on most of the time. After I finished eating breakfast, I made my way to the office building on camp, where I would be meeting my new Captain and Yeager. What was the captains name again? Levi? I think that's it.

I make it to the room and knock. I hear a muffled 'come in' before I opened the door. As soon as I took a step in I gave my salute.

"Ah yes, miss Weis. Please, come in." I brake my salute and close the door and walk towards the desk were two men were. One was behind it, the other, who was leaning on the wall to the left, was probably the new captain. He had this black hair that was short, down to the top of his ear, it was also shaved underneath, giving it this finished, clean cut, look. His stare though. It pierced right through you. It was blank, no emotion. Grey looking down at my own green orbs. I could feel something inside me, like I knew this man in front of me. But where?

"Please, sit." I nod and take a seat in front of this blonde man, Commander Erwin. I was told he was a nice guy. I never had the chance to actually meet him, although I have been on missions with his team before. I keep my hands rested on my knees. Even though I know why I'm here, and it's not a big deal or anything, but this man, my potentially new captain, is staring holes into the side of my head. It makes my breath hold in my throat, my palms sweaty, and my spine straight.

"Now you know why you're here, Miss Weis? Your original captain told you yes?" asks the commander. I just nod, not really trusting my voice at this moment. Commander Erwin leans forward with his elbows resting on his desk, and his chin also resting on the back of his hands. "Then we can make this meeting as short as possible before heading off to train the new recruits. This man here is Levi. You and him will both be co-captains, leading his team, but your main job is to keep an eye on Eren Yeager. You are aware of his...condition, yes?" I nod. Wait...did he just say co-captain? " _Wait_ sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, d-did you say, co-captains, s-sir?" I ask with a shaky voice. My other captain never told me I was being promoted..

Commander Erwin raised an eyebrow at me, letting his hands fall back down to the desk, but still leaning forward. "Your captain didn't tell you?" I shook my head and glance down at my hands. I hear a sigh and some shifting. I look back up and Erwin had leaned back in his chair, his hands resting on the arm rests and he was looking over at Levi. I glance over at him with enough time to see his eyes flicker just the slightest bit in annoyance. That wasn't towards me was it?

"Well, I guess this news to you is new. I hope its a happy one. Congratulations on your promotion. But, the reason that I'm not having you lead a team right off is because we have had some problems in the past. For now, we will have you and Levi both be captains till you can venture off on your own. Although of course Mr. Yeager is our top priority at the moment. We have a mission coming up, and I want you, and him to be ready for whatever could happen." I nod, flexing my hands, they seem to be very stiff at the moment.

Erwin stands up and I do as well. "Well, its time to meet your new team. Welcome to the Special Operations Squad, Captain Weis." I smile and Salute him. He smiles back and also salutes. I start for the door and before I could get there, Levi had already beaten me to it and was waiting out in the hallway, looking impatient. I raise my eyebrow at him. We were supposed to be equals, so why would he be so annoyed with me? Was it because he thought that Commander Erwin's actions were to punish for something? Could it be that he thinks that the Commander doesn't trust him enough to be able to handle Eren and his team by himself? Or was it just the fact that he just didn't like me? I guess I'll never know.

I follow next to Captain Levi as we head to the part of the training grounds where I would be meeting the team. We walked in silence, which, was anything but comfortable. When we got close, I saw them either standing around, or sitting on the ground talking and laughing. One of them spotted us and smiled, letting everyone else know. The people who were sitting stood up and brushed themselves off, giving a salute like the rest of them. When Levi and I stood in front of them, we both gave them as quick salute before dropping it, Levi with his hands behind his back, staring down a brown haired boy, and I, with my hands crossed against my chest with a blank face. I studied each and every one of these people, starting from the right to left.

The one that Levi was staring down was sweating and trying to look anywhere but him. There was a black haired girl next to him standing closer than the others, They obviously must know each other. She had a closed off expression. My gaze falls on the next boy, who was also standing close the the boy. He was sweating, obviously nervous, but very determined. He had blond hair that fell to his shoulders, he stared straight ahead, trying not to show that he was scared as shit. The next man, also had blond hair, but it was tied back. He also had a little bit of a beard as well. He didn't look nervous he just stood there, staring forward, holding his salute. The next was girl who wore a small, warm smile. Her light ginger hair rested on her shoulders. She seemed pretty short, but the shortest seem to be the fastest ones on the 3DMG's.

This next man seemed to be older than the rest. He had pronounced wrinkles littering his face. He had slightly curly light brown hair, styled into an undercut, somewhat like how Captain Levi's hair was. He also, like Levi, wore a cravat. He just stood in the same manor as the man next to him, yet his eyebrows were down more into a scowl. Lastly, this, boy, who had brown hair, cut short and styled to be pointed in the back, stood with a stoic facial expression, but had a few beads of sweat on his temple. He kept glancing down the line to the first boy, then back forward. Well, if they're part of Levi's team, they probably expect to take it a little hard. Looks like I got to get my acting skills out.

I let myself shift on my feet till I was standing with my right hip out a bit, and my hands on my hip. I snort and roll my eyes, making everyone look over at me. This, is supposed to be our most elite team?

They look like a bunch of idiot children! I bet they're good though.

"Look brats, Commander Erwin has it in his brain that my team needs a second captain." so he did think that the commander thought he wasn't capable! "This here is Katerina Weis." I just roll my eyes and look over at Levi. Seriously hate me _already_? I didn't even get to say a single word to you yet!

"Listen here you little shits, as much as I would love to be somewhere else, I'm stuck here with your stupid baby faces! Except for you grandpa, how old are you anyways!" I got glares from each and every one of them, all but two. The one Levi was staring down, and the blond one that seemed to be attached to him. The brown haired boy just stared forward, while his blond friend looked to his feet. I walked up the the brown haired one and got in his face as much as my short ass could.

"Whats your name slinky?" The kid didn't falter. He may be scared as shit, but there's a fire in his eyes.

"Eren Yeager, Ma'am!" Ah, so this is the titan boy? I look him up and down, while slowly bringing myself to look at the girl next to him. I stepped back next to Levi. "Starting with you and skipping slinky over here, state your names."

"Mikasa Acerman."

"A-Armin Arlert."

"Eld Jinn."

"Petra Ral!"

"Oluo Bozado." He more growled his name than anything.

"Gunther Schultz." I look at each and every one of them with a blank expression. Okay, now I guess I know why people don't like me much.

" _Pathetic._ " They all dropped their hands to their sides as mine waved at all of them.

" _Excuse_ me?" The one named Gunther stated. I suck at my teeth.

"All of you are pathetic! Get to the forest. I want each and every one of you to show me what you got and maybe, just maybe I wont think you're pathetic. Go!" They all start to make a run for the forest.

"Yeager! You stay here a minute!" Eren Yeager stopped and turned around, a confused look played on his face. I walk towards him and put a hand on his shoulder and smile. "So I hear _you're_ the titan shifter huh?" He flinched a little before nodding. I gave a small chuckle as I push him forward a little, indicating that I wanted him to walk. I could feel Levi's eyes bore into the back of my neck, making my hair stand on end.

"Don't worry, I'm not afraid of you. Calm your nerves." He looked over at me in disbelief. I can understand that. I did call him slinky and treat every one of them like shit. I gave a goofy smile and waved my hand in front of my face. "I'm not really like that. I was putting on a show for mister _'stick up my ass'_ back there." He seemed to relax a bit and rub his shoulder.

"Well it is nice to know that someone here at this camp doesn't think I'm going to eat them ma'am. Of course except for Armin and Mikasa. We grew up together...er, ma'am" I clicked my tongue. I knew it. "I figured that was the case. They stood quite close to you in line there. Also, quit with the ma'am thing, I feel old when you do that! Just call me Captain Weis, and when were alone feel free to just call me Kat." I stick my tongue out at him while he raised his eyebrow. "Alone, captain?" Ah, no one seemed to tell the boy anything!

"The commander actually put me on the team because he wanted an extra pair of eyes on you. I'm also supposed to help you with your special training to control your titanus form." His brow formed a frown while his mouth fell. Poor kid. I ruffle his head just as we reached the forest edge, the rest of the team already swinging away, waiting for us to arrive. "Look, I know that a lot of people are afraid of you, hate you, et cetera, but I'm here to help you. I may not be in an expert at this thing, but I _believe_ if you can get complete control of this thing, then we just might win against these damn titans out there. Sweetie you're our best bet at beating these things!" That seemed to perk him up a bit. I push him towards the forest. "Now, get out there and show me what you got. Just try not to go all beast on us though. I don't want to have to explain that to the Commander and mr. fancy pants." Eren flashed me a smile before using his gear to shoot him into the forest. I sighed before swinging in myself. Watching each and every one of them. They were good on their feet. I should have known that they would be good, this team was hand picked specifically.

For the next few weeks, Levi stood back and let me lead the team in their training. We did hand to hand, practice formations, we went over everything that we could think of, and later when everyone went to bed, Eren and I stayed up to train. He was tense. He was so afraid of changing while on camp. He wasn't a monster like everyone thought he was, he's just a boy that is so determined to destroy the titans. More determined than the whole damn army combined!

Even though we didn't make any progress the mission was right around the corner. Just a few more weeks. Levi's team was getting irritated with me. They don't understand why I am so nice to Eren, but a hard ass with them. Is it a valid reason to say that it was fun?

"I can't take this Captain Weis, You push us to see what we can do but haven't seen you do shit! How do we know _you're_ any good!?" I raised an eyebrow at the girl. They're shitting me right?

"The hell you getting at there cadet." She's usually reserved, a lot nicer. I must have made her snap. She growled in my direction. Yup, finally snapped. "Why don't _you_ get in the ring!?" I clicked my tongue before giving a short chuckle, pointing at her. I catch Levi glance at me from where he was leaning on the wall of the building. We were inside sparing, using the punching bags, et cetera. "Look here cadet, I would flatten you in two seconds, what makes you think that-"

"Get in the ring, brat." I sucked through my teeth and glared at the man. Levi had been quite for almost this entire month while I train his team without a single incite on what I should and shouldn't be doing. Frankly, he started to test my patience. " _I'm sorry_ , are you talking to _me_?" I said through my teeth, obviously trying to show some kind of restrain. He clicked his tongue in disgust and shrugged his scout jacket off. Neatly folding it and placing it on a near by table, also pulling his cravat out and placing it on top of the jacket. He loosened a few buttons and rolled his sleeves up. He walked towards the ring and climbed in. My jaw dropped. He wanted me to fight him!?

" _Get in, brat._ " I growled at him. "You expect _me_ to just up and follow your orders? After the almost month long silence?" He just glared at me. Finally I gave in and groaned. I would have to show my stuff at some point. I head over to another table, one that had fighting gear laid across it. I shrugged my jacket off as well, stripping my button down shirt off, leaving me in my white tank top. I grabbed the chalk and clapped some on my hands in a puff of white smoke before wrapping both my hands in the cream colored wrapping. I stretch my arms and neck as I walk to the ring. I hop in and put my hands out, my fists up in my face, palms facing me, and my legs bent and wide apart. He just stood across from me, staring. We stood like that for a few minutes. Getting irritated, I decided to speak, not breaking my form. "Take a picture it'll last longer." Well that was a mistake.

 _Shit._

This jerk was fast.

With a flick of his eyes he lunged at me, sending a kick my way. I was just able to block in with my arms. With a twist, I grab his leg and pull, hoping to throw him down to the ground and be done with it.

Again, big mistake.

Somehow he used it to his advantage and kicked my feet out from under me. He grabbed my arms and flipped me so my face smashed against the not so soft floor of the ring, his knee in my back and arms pinned. Shit this guy was good, and man did this position hurt. I could hear cheers from the team and I just shoot a glare their way.

"We're done for today. Now get out of my sight you little brats." Still pinned, I watch the team give another cheer as they leave. Eren shoots me a look saying that he will see me later. He had look of pity also plastered on his face. I guess he's no stranger to this either. From what seemed like forever I heard a sigh before finally being released. I groan as I flipped over on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I'm pissed he beat me, but my pride is hurt more than anything. I look over and watch the man dress. The way he keeps the same stoic expression all day I don't know.

Although, I will admit, that look, disheveled hair, and small bit of sweat on the back of his neck, it set a fire in me. This man, is hot as fuck and I don't even think he tries. I blush and sit up, my muscles screaming at me from being man-handled. I just sat up and watched him dress himself, the pull out a handkerchief and wiped the back of his neck before running a hand through his hair. I swallow, the fire burning hotter and hotter. He looks over and catches me staring. I just blush harder and stand up quickly, flinching. Damn he really did a number on me.

I turn away from him and hop out of the ring, heading towards my things. I have my hand on my clothing as I hear him walking out of the building, and the door close, I let out a long grown. That man could be so enchanting. For some reason anger bubbled to the surface of my skin. I bare my teeth and let out a yell. This same man is the one that lazied around watching me with no intent to help. What a bastard. I stalk over to a punching bag, needing to get rid of this fire in me. I imagine the mans face on the bag and growl as I punched it over and over again. Sweat eventually started pouring down my body. I pause to pull the tank top off, leaving me in my sports bra, and wiping my face. I threw my shirt to the side, continuing where I left off.

" _Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard…_ "I just keep mumbling through my grinding teeth as I watched the wrap around my hands start to seep a dark maroon color. I don't stop. I don't care that I'm bleeding. I need to get this frustration out. I hear the door open and close but I just keep going. I hear footsteps walking up to me, and a hand on my shoulder, finally making me stop with one more punch of the bag, making it break open and sand pour over my bloodied hand. I was painting. I look over my shoulder at the hand, then at the hands owner. He smiled at me with a small smile. He looks at my back, the smile fading as his brow dips.

"He really did a number on you, he left a bruise." I look away from him as he stepped around me, my hands falling to my sides. Eren reaches down and grabs one hand and unwraps it. My knuckles were bloodied and bruised, Eren flinched as I just look up, and to the side with a sigh. "Looks like you did a number here too. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He grabs my wrist and leading me to the sink in the back room. I winced my hand stung as he ran my hands under cool water. I look at this boy's face. So concentrated, concerned. How anyone could think that he was dangerous I will never know.

When he was done with patching up my hands, which only had a few long cuts, nothing major other than the dark bruises all along my knuckles, I got dressed again and headed to the mess hall with Eren at my side. He was really a good kid. He was driven, and kind. I feel bad that people fear him, the poor kid. We walked in and grabbed our food. I grab a coffee and sit down with Eren and his friends. I drown them out as I stare into my coffee, swirling it and location ally taking a sip. How could a man I barely knew have such an effect of me? How could I let it when we have much more problems to deal with. I take a glance over at Levi.

He was sitting next to Erwin, leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other and sipping on coffee. He held his cup from the top. He glances over at me, meeting my gaze. I don't move as he just stares. His eyes flicker down to my hands and I swear I saw them twitch. I put my coffee down and hide my hands in my lap before looking down at them. Fresh blood had seeped through the small bandages Eren had put on me. I glance back at him just in time to look away. I looked back over at the people at my table. They were laughing and smiling. I couldn't hear what they were saying as I tuned out the world. I downed the rest of my coffee before getting up and retreating to the showers. I could feel stares on the back of my neck. Little did I know that Eren wasn't the only one watching me with a frown.

I hiss as I strip my clothing off, and walked to look in the mirror. My back sported a dark bruise, as bad as on my knuckles, right in the middle. "Was that man _trying_ to kill me?" I mumble to myself as I hop into one of the showers, turning it on ice cold. I shiver at first before sighing and closing my eyes, letting my head loll back as the cold felt nice on my hot skin. I swear I stood there like they for minutes, not hearing a person step into the shower next to me.

"You'll get sick and be useless if you keep it that cold brat." I growled and switched it to steaming hot, gasping at the temperature. I let out a small moan as my muscles started to relax. I put my hands out against the wall in front of me, watching as blood ran down the wall and down the drain. Well that's annoying. I'm going to have to get that checked out. I fixed the temperature so it was just warm. The shower went on beside me as I washed down. I finally shut the water off and reach out of the shower to grab the white towel off the hook. I wrap it around myself and go and stand by the sink where my clothes were. I looked into the mirror above and just stared. You could see a few scars on my body above the towel, I glare at them. Because of them, no man would want me. Not like it mattered, I was growing older as the days drag on, and no man would want an older woman. I let out a sigh and scratch the back of my head.

"Hey brat. You going to hog the sink or what." I jumped forgetting that Levi was even in here. My towel fell to the ground around me and I blushed. I quickly grab it and wrap it around myself, glancing at him through the mirror. His eyes sunk down, staring at my back, and mouth somewhat ajar. He closes his mouth and looks away, the stoic expression back on his face. I look down at my hand that was folded on the sink, blood had poured down it. I looked at my other hand holding the towel on my body. It was soaked red. My vision started to blur. Shit, I must have lost more blood than I thought. I go to leave, but instead I fell to the floor, hitting my head on the sink on my way down, knocking me out. But not before heading someone yell. I couldn't understand what was said, but I know it happened.

I groan as I feel my head pound hard. Man what happened?

"She's waking up." Oh right I remember now. Shit. I feel someone sitting on the edge of the bed holding my hand. Wait a minute. My eyes burst open and I sit up fast with a gasp, pulling the blanket up to cover me, only to wince in pain and fall back on the bed. A hand falls on my forehead and another grab my hand again. "Calm down, you're clothed now." I give a sigh of relief as I look over at Eren. His brow was low on his face, as if he was unhappy with something.

"So what happened?" I watched as Eren retreated his hand from my head and held my hand with his two hands, running his thumbs on the bandages that was my hand. "You passed out after taking a shower and captain Levi carried you all the way here. Not only had you lost a lot of blood due to the cuts on your hands not clotting, like they were supposed to, but they said your blood sugar was low." I look down, yeah all my fault.

"I had noticed you don't eat much of anything recently, I didn't think anything of it. Is everything okay?" Other than the fact that I've been wanting to run because I have to a lead a team with no help from a sadistic, close-mouthed man with a look that could make anyone's hands clam up? I give out a sigh and turned to give him a smile. I reached a shaky hand up and cupped his cheek, making him loosen his tense shoulders a bit. "Honestly? I'm fine, just a little scared Eren."

"For a soldier who has been killing Titans for a long time, brat, you're actually scared of something?" My body tensed for a second. Not because I was afraid of him, but out of anger. I look opposite of Eren and see Levi sitting on a chair, leaned back with a leg over his knee. He was sipping on what looked like black tea, seeing as I didn't smell coffee. I tighten my jaw. I am so done with this man that it's not even funny anymore.

"The hell are you doing here?" He glanced up at me before looking back at his tea, swirling it around, like I had done earlier. "Waiting for you to wake." I raised an eyebrow at the man. Why would he care if I was okay? He sets his tea down and folds his hands on this knee and sets his cold, grey eyes at me. "The scar. Where did you get it from." My breath in my throat. I feel Eren tense up next to me as well. Probably too scared to have asked as well. I knew he saw it but didn't want to ask questions. I just stare at the man before me, his eyes still unreadable as ever.

"Bit by a Titan." That's all I said, not really wanting to return to that memory. I just stopped having nightmares about it. But the man doesn't look all to convinced that that was it. " _How._ " I look down, wrapping my hands around myself. I'm probably going to have to tell him or he won't back off. Eren stood up, facing his captain. "Why are you pushing the issue sir?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down, I looked at him, he was a worried and a tad angry. Understandable. I look back over to Levi, giving him a bank expression. "I was saving a teammate when I got grabbed by the Titan instead. He went to bite me In half, but someone killed it before it could finish. That scar was all that's left. Happy now?" Eren's hand squeezed mine, fully knowing the fear that I had, having been in the mouth of a Titan before. Levi looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. Was this man showing emotion? Nah, it's just my imagination. He stood up and went to leave and stopped at the end of my bed. Not looking at me, he spoke.

"Come to my room when you're out. I want to speak to you about the upcoming exposition, idiot." I watched as he walked off. What is with this man? First he demands to know about a scar on my back, and then he's set on the mission! I could never understand him. I hear a sigh next to me. I turn to Eren and he's rubbing his cheek. He looks tired. I smile at him and squeeze his hand, making ho look at me. "Eren you're tired. Go get some rest. I appreciate all this concern, but I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." Eren shook his head. This boy seriously gets too attached to things. He lays his head down on the pillow next to me and I scotch over, giving him some room. He lets off a small sigh as he closes his eyes. I reach over and move his bangs out of his face as it started to soften. His breath was getting slower, indicating that he was asleep. Poor kid was tired because he didn't want to leave me. I smile down at him as I trace my hand over his cheek. Why did it have to be him that shifted. He was a good and strong willed kid, so why him? I let out as sigh and look at the ceiling. Next thing I knew, nurses came by asking me how I was feeling and letting me know that I could leave whenever. I told them that Eren needed help to is bedroom and they just stared at him, scared. I told them that he was just exhausted, so it should be easy to move him.

They finally did get him up to his room and I got dressed in the clothes I presume Eren had grabbed from my room for me. All it was was a tank top and a pair of black cargo pants, along with my boots. I wrestle with my tangle of hair to get it in a ponytail. After finally succeeding, I make my way to my room, wanting to get some proper sleep. Those infirmary beds were hard as a rock. Just as I was about to walk into my room, I saw a light coming from the crack of the door across from me. I peak in to see the one and only captain Levi. He was sitting at his desk, hair disheveled, shirt unbuttoned completely, showing how strong he was, along with scars. That fire that long been put out, lit up again. Why did this man have to be so attractive, I would be be able to hate this man so much easier if he wasn't.

"How long are you going to stand their and stare." Shit I had been found out. I walked in and gave a salute. Without looking at me, he waves his hand, telling me to stop with the formalities. I close the door behind me before letting my hands fall to my sides. I just stared at him as he finished reading and signing a piece of people and putting it on a stack of papers. He looks up at me, his hands in his lap.

"Why did you join the survey corps." I raised my eyebrow, mainly at the question asked, but also because he hadn't called me a brat yet. " _Answer me brat._ " There it is. I shifted on my feet. "Well it was because I wanted to help reclaim the land for humanity. I mean, _I was scared_ , I saw how few of you actually make it back from the missions you go on, most of them unsuccessful, but determination burning in your eyes as you road in." He just stared at me. I don't even know why he was even asking me in the first place. It didn't seem like a question that he would need to know.

"If you wanted to help humanity why did you risk yourself for a teammate, almost getting yourself killed in the process." Ah, so that's why. "Stupidly going in to save a comrade, getting yourself caught, that's not helping humanity. That's just prolonging the inevitable of the soldiers death. You put others in danger by not being the best you can be. If other soldiers had seen you give up. They would do so as well. You need to keep yourself focused on the target. The mission. Not on whether or not your team is safe. You can save them by still being alive. Not half eaten by a titan. Idiot." I sighed. I knew he was right, but I want everyone to be safe before me.

" I am replaceable." His eyes flash before he quickly stands up, his chair knocked over, and the next thing in knew I was pinned against the door, his face starling. " _No one_ is replaceable." I gulp, his face is so close, I can feel his breath on my top lip. He had to bend a little, seeing he was a tad taller than me. I look from those burning eyes to the side, my eyes drooping a little in sadness. He was right, but I didn't care all that much. I helped others before myself. That's the way it always had been, that's how it always will be. The grip on me loosened until it was finally gone. I look over just in time to see him pick up his chair and sit down with his head in his hair. He was frustrated. But why?

" Go get some sleep, we will talk about the mission tomorrow." I took this as a 'get lost' and I just left, locking my door as soon as I step inside. I was leaning against my door, my eyes stinging with the tears that were falling. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm usually so reserved, but ever since joining this new team, I've been beginning to feel things that I haven't in a long time.

I wipe my tears away with a sigh and get myself ready for bed. I slip under the covers, letting my heavy lids fall, bringing all the nightmares back.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this! It's my first Attack on Titan fic so I'm hoping that I at least did a decent job.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there guys, I know that I said don't expect an update from me anytime soon, but it seems that these last three days, sleep was not on my side. So here I give you chapter 2! Chapter 3 is in the works! Don't know when I'll get it out, but its being worked on! ENJOY!

 **I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING OTHER THAN MY OWN CHARACTER.**

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Blood.

It was everywhere.

We had finally gone on the expedition. I should have known that everything was going to go to shit. I had a bad feeling well in the pit of my stomach, but I thought that I was just nervous to go outside the walls. But it wasn't that. _It was way worse than that._

Levi and I lost the whole team, other than Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. They were the remaining members. But it wasn't your normal run of the mill titan.

It was another shifter. A female.

She killed each and every one of them, just trying to get to Eren. He blames himself for what happened to them. But it wasn't his fault. It was no ones fault. That shifter was just too damn smart. I blamed myself for the whole thing. If we had trained in the formation properly, maybe they would have been spared.

We did eventually figure out who the shifter was. Her names Annie Leonhart, a girl in Eren's graduating class. It was no wonder that she knew so much. We did get to capture her, but before we could even get one single answer, she encased herself in a crystal cocoon. Such a shame. I heard she was a good fighter too.

It's been two months since all that happened. They were still trying to figure out how to get Annie out of the cocoon, all while Eren continued his training. They were going to send him off to the military police to be chained up and most likely experimented on, but the courts agreed that staying here was best. I was demoted my position as captain, the higher ups didn't like that the commander put a second captain on Levi's team and had blamed that day of the expedition on the fact. I agreed with them. If I had been a better captain, they would still be alive.

I was still on the same team, just no longer a captain. Eren and Armin still call me captain every once in a while, I don't mind other than the fact that I flinch every time they do.

Although Levi seems to be a tad happier about it. He gets to lead his own team again, even if it isn't the same people as before. He has been extra hard on me when it comes to training too. He makes me stay later than everyone else in everything. The formation training, the forest, evening sparing. It doesn't make any sense. And when it came to the sparing, he wouldn't let me do it with anyone but him. I mean, I know I would kick everyone's ass, other than Mikasa of course. She was a scary one. But he would drop me every time, and when I would get up he would just say 'again' and would continue to drop me. It doesn't make any sense.

But what's a solider to do, other than listen to her captain?

–

I got up again in the morning like I always do. But this time it felt different. I wasn't as motivated to get up. I just stared at the ceiling before letting out a sigh. If I don't do my morning run, I will just fall back into the nightmares that haunt my mind. I force myself out of bed and into my typical cargo pants and tank top, my hair in its signature ponytail. I get outside and don't even bother to stretch. I just start running as soon as I'm outside. A slight drizzle falls around me as I run. It was a good thing that today was a day off for training. Not like that ever stopped the captain before, but I am determined to avoid him today. I need the rest. My body isn't used to all that abuse all at once.

I groan as I run past the office, catching a glimpse of someone coming out of the building. Finding it odd that someone would be up this early, seeing I'm usually the only one. I slow to a stop and just watch. It was Captain Levi. I was stumbling his way out of the entrance, having evidence that he had been there all night. I jog over to him. As I got closer, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and paler than normal skin. He must had been getting less and less sleep as the days went on. By the time I got up to him, he didn't even see me. He just kept on walking in a daze towards the living quarters.

"Um, are you okay sir?" He stopped walking at the sound of my voice, and his body just wobbled as he looked over at me. His gaze didn't even really reach me, he must have really been out of it. I walk up closer to him and go to reach a hand out to him, but I stop myself, not knowing if I should or not. He finally was able to focus on me, seeing my hand out stretched at him. He gave me a small snarl of a look before starting to stumble away again.

"I don't need a fucking brats...help." Before I could even roll my eyes or protest, he started to fall to the ground. I quickly caught him, grabbing his arm to swing over my shoulder. I started to help him to the building, all the while he protested.

"Let me go cadet."

"Do not disobey your captain, brat." He mumbled more quiet insults even as I got him into his room and on his bed. He fell back onto his pillow and stared at the ceiling before his obviously heavy eyes fell closed into sleep. I let out a sigh before reaching down to pull his shoes off. Having set them down on the floor next to the bed, I threw the blanket over him and just stared. His brow wasn't down in its familiar frown. He looked at peace. It was weird to see, but it was also comforting to know that that scowl wasn't permanent. I giggled quietly and stood up, just as I did I heard a growl. Looking down at the man, with his eyes still closed, had his the teeth bare. I suddenly got scared when he opened his eyes and lunged at me, throwing me to the opposite wall. I groan as I slide down it in pain. But I didn't get to rest for very long before being picked up by my neck and completely of the floor, not able to breathe. I grab his arm, trying to get him off of me, but due to lack of oxygen, I was loosing strength. I stared with dots in my vision at Levi, he was still baring teeth and growling. ' _Captain…._ "I thought before my sight was turning dark.

Before I could pass out, I was suddenly stopped to the floor with a rush of oxygen. It burned as I coughed and breathed in as much as I could. I look up, finally able to see and captain Levi is staring at his hand in horror. I rub my neck, already feeling a bruise forming, and stand up. His eyebrow raises in confusion at his hand. ' _Maybe he had a nightmare and just reacted to it without knowing.._ '

I reach one hand out to touch his and he jumps at the touch, coiling back in fear. He shakes his head before falling onto his bed. I walk towards him and sit on the edge of the mattress. He shoves himself against the wall farthest from me, bent down, and his head in his hands. I reach out to him but all he does is flinch.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault..sir.." My voice was harsh. I sounded like I just smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in one go. He looked up at me then back down with an expressionless look. "Go away.." I let my shoulders fall. I guess I should just leave him alone. I sigh and get up to leave, rubbing my sore neck.

I head to the showers and catch my reflection. My hands trail up to the black and blue hand print on my neck, making me wince when I touch it. That doesn't look like it's going away any time soon.

I take my shower and change into civilian clothing before heading to the mess hall. I had covered the bruise on my neck with a gray scarf. Not like it would be out of the ordinary, I was the only one. I grabs some coffee and an apple before heading to the table with all my teammates. They all greeted me with tired smiles and waves. I drown out their chatter like I always do and swirl my coffee. 'I wonder how the captain is doing?' I look over at the seat that he normally sits in and just stares.

"Kat? Hey kat!" I snap out of it and look over at Eren. He and the rest of the group shared a worried look. "You okay? You were staring of into space." I give them a smile before sipping on my coffee. "Never better! Hey Eren, wanna head to the roof after this?" His eyebrows dip for a second before smiling back.

"Yeah sure!" I turn back to my coffee and take a bite of my apple. I can feel Eren staring at me. I know that he's worried about me. I took the death of our teammates hard. ' _I feel like it was my fault that they died. If Levi just-_ ' the hand holding my cup squeezed until it shattered. Everyone looked over at me. I just stood up and excused myself. I threw my apple away and headed straight for the roof. I needed to be alone. When I got up there and sat down on the edge of the roof, I just started to cry. Petra...It was all my fault that they died. If I had actually trained them properly on the formation, then they wouldn't have died. Non of them would have. I yank my ponytail out of my hair and throw it to the ground, thankfully not hitting anyone. I mean, it was raining. Most people were inside, making the only time they went out was to go from one building to the other.

I gripped my hair and let out a scream. I didn't care if anyone heard. I didn't care if anyone thought I was crazy. I sent my own teammates to their deaths! Maybe I was crazy! I didn't hear the door to the roof open and close, or the footsteps that followed. I just continued to cry and grip my now drenched hair harder and harder. I eventually felt hands on mine, making me loosen them. I was pulled to my feet and spun around. I got a flash of Eren's face before being pulled into his chest. I know that I was older than him, and that he was just a boy, but man, in times like these did he look attractive.

"Eren..." He shushes me and strokes my hair, I continue to cry.

"I-I killed them.." He pulled me closer to him with his surprisingly strong arms, considering he was so thin looking.

"You didn't kill anyone Kit-Kat. It wasn't your fault." My shoulders started to shake. "You're right." Eren pulled me back and looked at me. I wore a bitter expression. ' _that's right..._ ' I growled a little, digging my nails into my palms and making them bleed.

"You're right. It was the captains fault. If he had helped. If he hadn't lazied back and watched me, they would still be alive." I was furious. ' _All the captain did was watch me train them. He should have said something when I was teaching them to_ _ **die**_ _._ '

 _ **SMACK!**_

My eyes widened as my cheek stung. I look up at Eren, his brow creased into a frown. I put my hand to my cheek and look down.

"Look Katerina, It wasn't your fault, it wasn't the captains, if you want to blame someone, blame Annie." My expression saddens. He was right. Annie was the one to actually physically kill them.

"I-I know but-" Eren put his hands on my shoulders and I looked up at him. He wore a sad smile. "You trained us just fine. Do you _really_ think that _the_ Captain Levi would just sit there and watch you train his team the wrong way?" Eren never said this before. He usually just held me and let me cry, telling me that it'll be okay. ' _Then again I've never accused the captain of being the reason and get mad_ '. I sigh and return the smile. Eren's face brightens as his smile widens.

"Now that _that's_ out of the way, what's with the silly scarf? I've never seen you wear it before?" I flinch for a split second before regaining my composer. "Ah! Well you see, I was trying-" Eren grabs the end of the scarf, sending fear up and down my body. "You're not hiding any hickies are yo-" He stopped after he ripped the scarf off me. He just stared at the bruise as I tried to cover the hand print with my own. Eren's face goes from confusion, to shock, to anger in a matter of seconds. I try to get my scarf back, but his grip on it tightens. "Eren I-"

" _Who did this to you._ " I shake my head, not wanting to answer. I don't want him to get so mad that he turns into a titan right here on top of the roof! He grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me to him face.

"Who is responsible for laying their filthy hands on you?!" I shake my head at him.

"Eren it was an accident! You need to calm down!" Eren's breath was ragged. He just stared at me in the eyes with a wild look. After a few moments the look went away and his grip loosens. He looks down and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. I let out a sigh of relief. He lets go of my wrist and I put one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek, lifting his face to look at me. He just looks off to the side with a blank expression.

"Who did do this to you.." I let him go and take my scarf back, wrapping it around my neck, pulling it up over my mouth. "Captain Levi. But it was an accident. I saw him stumbling out of the office building. He hadn't been getting much sleep in the past few days, so he was falling all over himself. I helped him to his room and into bed, but as soon as I was going to leave, he had a nightmare or something and grabbed my neck. He eventually realized what he was doing and he stopped and wouldn't even let me tell him it was fine." Eren just stood there. Not moving, not saying a word. He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his brown hair, looking up to the sky and letting the rain fall down on his face.

"Accident or not, the next time I find any sort of mark on you caused by our captain, I will beat the shit out of him." I gave a small, short chuckle before nodding my head. I asked Eren if he wanted to go inside, seeing as coming to the roof was a totally bad idea. We were both soaked to the bone. We agreed to meet up in the mess hall later to have a few drinks, so I had something to look forward to. I got to my room and grabbed my spare towel and started to dry my hair. I stripped all my clothing off, dried off, and threw on a gray crop-tank top that was tight, showing off any curves I have, and extra tight, low-riding black skinny jeans. I dried my hair some more while I walked over to my mirror over my desk. The bruise wasn't that bad was it? I mean, if he had squeezed any harder, he may have just cracked my neck and killed me, but I don't think that the captain would do that would he? I grab a white scarf this time and wrap it around.

Deeming my hair still wet and annoying, I put it up in a ponytail and grab a book off my desk. I walked over to my bed and just fall back on it. I read the whole thing by the time that I had to head to the hall. I let out a small moan as I stood and stretched. I threw a pair of gray high heeled boots that came to my knees. If I was going to look good, I was going to go all out. It was our day off after all. And its not like we have training tomorrow either unless captain decides that our second day off is too much for us.

I threw on a black jacket and headed to the mess hall. The rain had slowed to a light drizzle, I hope it stops by the time we all have to leave. It's already muddy has hell out here. I finally made it and shoot any loose water on me. I walk in fully and look long strides over to Eren, who had caught my eye. I got to the table and everyone got quiet as I shimmied the jacket off, throwing it on the back of my chair before sitting in said chair. I leaned back a bit and crossed my leg over my knee, like I've seen the captain do plenty times before.

I look around at everyone's faces. Jean had a blush dusting his cheeks and a hand over his mouth, Eren's mouth just hung open, Mikasa, well, her expression didn't change, Armin's whole face was just red, and Sasha, Historia, and Connie were else where. Probably mingling with other cadets.

"What, never seen a lady wear clothes before?" Everyone (with the exception of Mikasa) looked away with a deeper blush than before. I click my tongue.

"So I was promised alcohol, where is it?" Just as Eren got up to go get it, a bottle and a few glasses, one for each of us, was slammed down in front of me. I look over to see who could have been the one the saint, and it was non other than Hange. I could literally kiss her right now. I throw a big smile up at her and she returns it. "Hange, you're a fucking saint! I could kiss you right now!" She blushed and mumbled something to herself as she went to grab herself a chair. She sets it next to me and went straight into pouring everyone a shots worth of the liquid and passing it out. She held up her glass with the most cheeky smile.

"To titans!" Everyone went quiet. She let out a giggle and I just nudged her, she's crazy, but we all love her for it.

"To living." I turn around and there stood non other than the captain himself. He wore a white button down shirt, the cravat still in place, and white pants. The apparent bags under his eyes were almost untraceable now, and his cheeks were a bit flushed. He must have been drinking before heading over here as well. Our eyes lock and I raise my own glass to his.

"To living." Everyone cheered and clinked glasses before downing the burning liquid. Our eyes never leaving each others while downing our own. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever before his eyes traveled to the scarf around my next. I see a flash in his eyes before they returned to normal. Was it regret? He shouldn't have to regret anything, he didn't do it consciously of course.

"Hey Kit-Kat, you want another?" Eren's voice snapped me back and I turned to slam my cup on the table, a huge smile plastered on my face. "Bring it on!" We were all cheering, laughing, dancing on table tops, and most of all, we were drunk. It was a nice feeling. I felt free. The captain had joined us, sitting in his usual position next to me. He wasn't talking, just downing the alcohol like it was precious water. He was definitely drunk. It was humorous actually, he tried to keep his emotions at bay and was failing miserably. Every time his drink was gone he would get annoyed and mumble something along the lines of 'stupid cup'. But the entire night he kept glancing down at my scarf when he didn't think I was paying attention.

With all of us plastered beyond belief, Hange helped the captain back to his living quarters, seeing he couldn't seem to walk by himself, Eren had kissed me on the cheek before dragging Mikasa somewhere, and Jean was just passed out in the chair, snoring. I took this as a 'I should leave and get some rest', and started to stumble back to my room. The jacket I had long forgotten, I walk outside and it was pouring, hard. I groan as I ran as fast as I could to my destination. By the time I had gotten to my room, I was soaked. Again. I grabbed some fresh clothes, and headed to the showers, hoping that I could wash away some of this drunkness before going to bed so I don't have a banging hangover tomorrow. As I stumble into the showers, I set my clothes down and just strip, not caring on whether or not someone came in and saw. I trip into the cold shower and hit the wall, groaning as I slid down the tile. I seem to feel how sore I am from training more now that I did before. I reach up as much as I can and turn on the water, making it nice and warm. I shutter at how much it felt good. I swear this is my a lot of my day in this shower. I just sat on the cold tile floor as the water runs down my body. I bring my knees up to my chest and watch the water spiral down the drain, much like my life here in the military. I sigh and think back to the the night the captain asked me why I joined. I said that I wanted to help humanity take back its land from the titans.

" _I am replaceable." His eyes flash before he quickly stands up, his chair knocked over, and the next thing in knew I was pinned against the door, his face starling. "_ _ **No one**_ _is replaceable."_

I shutter at the memory. I remember his breath hitting my lips, the smell of musk and soap, the fiery look in his eyes as scowls down at me. I look down at my shaking hands. We are all replaceable though. Every day soldiers die, but we always gain more.

"If we're not all replaceable, then why the _hell_ do we eve fight?" I put my face in my hands as the tears start to fall.

"Fighting is just human nature brat. We can't help it." I jump at the sound of his voice. I saw his feet as it looked like he was leaning against the door of the shower I was in. I stood up and put my hand on the door.

"How you feeling Captain, sir?" I heard shuffling before I felt a bang against the door like he fell back against it.

"Not all that well. Came in to clean up but I can't seem to stay standing." I chuckle. My drunken haze had disappeared quite a bit since sitting in the shower. "Need help?" I heard what I would presume was a 'tsk' before a thump. He probably hit the floor.

"As if I would need help from a fucking cadet." I turn my water off, not really needing a shower, just wanted to warm up. I lean against the growing cold door.

"Permission to speak freely sir?" I heard a grunt, followed by what I would presume to be his head pounding against the door. I take that as a yes.

"You're fucking smashed." He let out a snort of a laugh. I just gave a small smile. "It is okay to ask for help every once in a while. Now, if you let me open the door and grab my towel, I can dry off and get you in the shower safely without your drunken head smashed open. Blood is a bitch to get out of things." I heard some shuffling and I opened the door slightly to grab the towel and wrapped it around myself. I opened the door to see that he had slid over to the part in between the two showers. His hair was disheveled, his shirt wrinkled and unbuttoned slightly, the cravat gone. One leg was bent while the other laid flat. He was leaning his head back against the wall with his eyes closed, his brow slightly dipped, and his typical frown in place.

When he heard me step over to my clothing, he opened his eyes to watch me as I dried my hair with and extra towel. When I had gotten it as dry as I possibly can, I take my clothes into one of the drier showers and changed as quick as I could. When I came out, I saw the captain staring down at his hands, a stoic expression playing on his face. I kneel down in front of him and look at his hands with him.

"So goddamn filthy." He mumbled. My brow falls down as I grab his hands, flipping them to see the back and then back to his palms. He just stared at me as I studied his hands. I look up at him with a smile.

"They look clean to me Captain." He just stared at me blankly. I knew what he was talking about. When you see death all around you, you see blood everywhere. I see blood on my hands every day, wishing I could just wash it all away. But you can't. It stays with you forever, leaving you with cracked, red skin as you scrub, and scrub, to get it off.

Levi just stares down at our hands, not saying a word. I just let out a sigh as I took this opportunity to bring the captain to his feet. He stumbled a little before finally standing on his own. I help him over to one of the benches and pull this boots and socks off for him, standing up and unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. He just sat there and stared at me, watching me.

"What I can't figure out, brat, is after all the abuse I put you through, all the death, everything, why you're here helping me.." I look up at him. Did I hear emotion in his voice? It sounded like he was in pain. ' _Then again, it could just be the alcohol talking._ ' I let out a sigh. And helped him to his feet. I cupped his cheek as he just stared down at me, a bit of regret playing in his eyes.

"Yeah I was fucking enraged at the fact that you made me lead the training when I first came to the team. I even hated you after all of them died, thinking that it was because of the fact that I trained them wrong on the formation. But, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even my fault. It was nobodies fault. I've come to realize this with a little help." I thought back to Eren telling me to stop blaming myself and I smile.

"They went out there knowing fully well that they might not come back. As for the physical pain you have cause, you shouldn't be sorry, or regret anything. And I'm not talking about the training bumps and bruises either." He looked down at my bruised neck, reaching his hand up to trace the bruise, making my body shiver under his touch. "You didn't mean to do it. You were having a nightmare and lashed out. It happens. Plus, I've had a whole lot worse happen to me, remember?" He looked down at my body, obviously remembering the one main scar that plagued my body, before gray met green. I could see the cloudiness of the alcohol, and the pain and suffering he had gone through. I cupped his face completely and gave him a smile.

"Everyone hurts. Everyone looses. Everyone suffers. Especially in this time of man. Fear. The darkness. Its all around us, waiting for its time to strike." He closed his eyes, his breath slowing, and his face starts to soften.

"If you ever fall into the black abyss, I will help pull you back into the light." I mumbled under my breath, hoping that he didn't hear me. But of course he did. He opened his eyes and stared at me in disbelief. Its obvious that he's never had anyone treat him with this kind of kindness before. I just smile at him and pull my hands away and put them on my hips, a blush creeping on my cheeks. Time to change the subject!

"Now, Captain, its time to get you in that shower!" I pulled the rest of his shirt off and setting it on the bench behind us. Not wanting to make this more awkward, I helped him into a stall where he passed me his pants and undergarments. I blush as I go set them down with his shirt. I told him that I'll sit and wait for him to get out, in case he needed help getting to his room. I didn't get a response from him, but I did it anyways. I sat on the bench, eyes glued to the floor, and a blush on my face. The hell is wrong with me? First, I blame the captain for the death of our old teammates, I get almost choked to death, even as an accident, and I'm _still_ falling all over this man? I must be going mental. I sigh as I lean my body back a bit to stare up at the ceiling. ' _Why me though?_ ' I heard the door open and my eyes snapped to see the Levi walk out of the stall, a towel around his waist, and another drying his hair. My blush spreads all over my body as that fire is lit in me again. I know that I took of his shirt for him and all, but _damn_ did this man look good. I looked his body up and down. I watched his muscles contract as he dried his hair. He was slim, but there were obvious signs of muscles. He was so well defined, it made the fire blaze into an inferno. The way the towel dipped low, made me squirm, and my breathing stop. If I didn't think that this man was attractive before, it was just increased tenfold now.

"Take a picture it'll last longer." I blushed even harder, if it was even possible and stood up.

"S-so I take it you d-don't need any help, sir?" He just stared at me, a small smirk playing on his lips. I gulp and grab my clothes. I mumbled a goodbye and practically sprinted to my dorm room and closed the door. As soon as I was in, I could breath again. My heart pounded in my ears, and the fire still burning high. What is wrong with me? That's my captain! I ruffle my wet hair and groan loudly as slide down the door. I mean, any thoughts like that had to be illegal right? I mean, not if I was still captain, but they demoted me. I bang my head against the door.

"Damnit Captain, why do you have to be so goddamn attractive?!" I heard a door close from other the side of mine and I blush. 'O _h god, please tell me that he didn't hear me say that!_ '. I let out a small whimper before heading over to my bed and crawling in. I close my eyes, finally feeling the exhaustion take over me. I slip into sleep, the image of Levi's gray eyes staring down at me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! Sorry that I haven't updated this in a while like the last, I had some stuff happen, making it impossible. I've also been watching Supernatural, like binge watching it since the new season just came out. I'm already on season 8 so I'm really excited to catch up.**

 **Anyways, this is the last chapter for Oh captain, my Captain! I didn't really want this to be a long story, but it was too much to have in just one or two chapters.**

 **Also, I wrote this chapter, especially the end, while listening to 'I see fire' by Ed Sheeran. This song is super addictive and gave me the feels so I couldn't help it.**

 **I hope you enjoy the chapter and look forward to seeing more of you for my new stories!**

 **I DO NOT OWN AOT OR ITS CHARACTERS, JUST KATERINA WEIS AND THE STORY PLOT.**

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"Ah, Levi!" He pushed me into the wall hard, biting and sucking on my collarbone. He lets out a growl as he rips my shirt over my head. He grabs my breast in his hand and squeezes. It makes me me shutter. He leans in, grabbing my earlobe with his teeth and bit down, making me scream.

"Say it." He squeezes my breast, hard.

"Levi!" He lets out a growl again and slides his other hand down the front of my pants, teasing me. I squirm underneath him, wanting nothing but him on top of me.

"Now, brat, say it again." He grabs the back of my head, fist full of hair and pulls, I let out a moan. He leaned in and bit my lip, lapping up the blood he spilt.

"L-Levi!" He throws me on the bed on my front. He lifts up my back end and pulls both my pants and panties down to my knees. I squirm again under his gaze. Surely he can see how much I want him? "You just love to be punished, don't you brat." Before I know it, I heard a loud SMACK!, before I felt the sting on my bare ass, making me yelp. I quivered as he did it again, wondering if I'll end up with a welt the shape of his hand. He trailed his hand down to my dripping entrance and slowly slipped a finger in. I gripped the sheets, he moved his hand slowly, letting his finger slide in and out of me in an agonizingly slow pace.

"Mmm, please!" I could feel him move, taking his finger out of me completely. He was most likely taking the rest of his clothing off. I could feel his fingers wrap around my hips, digging his fingers into them, making me gasp. He leaned down, letting his penis rest at my entrance. I wiggle into him, hoping he'll slide himself into me, giving me what I've been waiting so long for. His mouth is at my ear again, pulling on my hair as he growled. "Say it." I couldn't wait any longer, this was absolute torture.

"C-captain!" That's when he did it. He slammed himself into me, not once letting go of my hair. I moaned loudly and he pounded harder and harder almost bringing me to the edge. He then flipped me over and ramming into me once again. I opened my eyes to look up at his handsome face.

But it wasn't that.

I looked horrified as blood dripped from his mouth. I looked down our bodies and saw his bottom half was gone, as if eaten by a titan. He cupped my face, smearing blood all over me. I looked up at his face, his facial expression stoic, as if nothing was happening. I try to squirm away from him but all I got was more blood pouring all over my body. I let out a scream.

"NO!" I sat up in my bed, a sweat resting on my brow and tears in my eyes. _'What the hell was that?!'_ I cover my face with my hands and just cry. How could I dream about my captain dying? He's humanities strongest solider! He was going to lead this world into victory, I just know it.

But if I knew that for sure, why do I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach?

I heard someone open my door and I snapped my head up. In the doorway was non other than the man of my dreams.

Literally.

He looked like absolute shit. I mean he did drink a lot and I doubt that the shower helped any with his hangover. He sleepily glared at me as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. He stalked over and stared down at me. I gulped under his gaze. He reached down and I flinched, remembering my dream. His hand twitched to a stop before moving again. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears that I had forgotten about. I was then aware they were still flowing and I turned away from him, covering half of my face with a sleeve covered hand. I felt the bed move and realized that Levi had sat down. I didn't want him to see me like this. Not now.

"Oi, brat, look at me." I didn't move.

"you know you can't resist this face." _So he did hear me last night!_ Now I really didn't want to turn around.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was gentle, not something that I would expect. The hand turned me to face him, but I avoided looking at him. He cupped my chin and made me look up at him. I let out a sniffle as more tears fell. He wiped them away with his free hand, and then cupped my face.

"How can I expect you to pull me from the dark if you fall in before me?" My eyes widened. _Did he just..?_

Before I knew it, his mouth was on mine. It was a quick kiss, unsure. His lips lingered, touching mine as my breath stopped, and his getting ragged. He opened his eyes that were apparently closed, and stared into mine, unsure on if he should continue. Memories of my dream flashed and I flinched away, tears continuing their freefall. I watched Levi sigh and run a hand through his hair. He reached out to me, ignoring the fact that I flinched when he touched me, and pulled me into him, both of us collapsing sideways on the bed. I was breathing heavily at this point, trying to get a grip on reality. _'This wasn't your dream damnit, this is real life! He's alive! Breathing! No blood! Just look!'_ I looked up to see him just staring at the ceiling. He looked down at me and his expression softened. I reached up and touched his face, making his eyes close.

 _'_ _He's really here, he's alive.'_ I snuggle back into the captain, resting my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing, and his heart beat. It was soothing. I smile and mumble a 'thank you' before slipping unconscious.

At least not until I heard a "whatever, brat."

I woke up , a little light falling on my face, signaling that it was morning already. I felt a warmth beneath me and I didn't dare open my eyes. I just snuggled into my pillow more, hoping to catch a few more minutes if sleep.

"So I see you're awake." That's not my pillow.

My eyes snap open and I sit up. Looking down I see my captain. One arm behind his head, and a smirk playing at his lips. I blushed remembering the events of last night, and immediately brought my fingers to my lips. They tingled at the memory. I heard a snort and saw he sat up in front of me. He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers. I just watched him, amazed. When he was done he looked up at me and pulled my hand, making me fall into him. His other hand snaked around my waist as he kissed me. It wasn't as soft as last night. This time, it was harder, more needy. I just moved my mouth with his, reaching up with one hand to cup the crook of his neck. He pulled back, letting his lips linger near mine once again. This time though, he had kept his eyes closed, and his brow was knitted together. I pulled my my hand from his and cupped both sides of his face, making him open his eyes. We just stared at each other. It's weird. I've known this man for only a short few months and he's been mostly nothing but an emotionless, sadistic, jerk that liked control. But as I look at him now, all I see is a man who wants to feel, who wants to be saved.

I give him a smile and lean in for another kiss. He grunted when my lips touched his, obviously enjoying it. He then grabbed my hair with his free hand, tangling it around his fingers. He gave a small tug, making my head lean back and breaking the kiss. He left small bites and kisses down my neck to my collarbone. I let out a content sigh as he just left kisses on my skin. Suddenly he stopped and I looked down. He was leaning his head on me, looking into my lap. I lift his face to see his eyes closed, and tears falling down his own face.

My eyes widened in shock. Humanities Strongest was crying. I frowned. I shouldn't be surprised. He had so much weighing on him. Everyone who has ever died, every mother, father, and child, who is safe inside the walls, everything. It was all on him. That's too much weight for anyone to handle by themselves.

I wiped his tears like he had done to me, and smiled at him as his eyes opened to look at me. He was confused. Was it because I hadn't slapped him, telling him to man up? Who knows.

"Take my hand." I pull a hand from his face and put it in front of him. He glances down at it before taking it. I pull him into me, like he had done, and let our breath entwine, as our bodies fell, mine under his. His forehead touched mine, eyes closed, and tears seeming to have slowed. "Let me pull you into the light." I whisper before crashing my lips to his, pulling his body to mine. His body started to relax as our mouths moved together.

 _Let me help you forget the hell that we live in._

–

We had an expedition coming up. What was weird was it was so soon after the last one. We usually have a a good six months before the next one, maybe. Levi was angry about it all. Erwin hadn't even talked it over with him before announcing it, like he usually did apparently. The only reason that I knew this, was because he had come into the mess hall during lunch, pulled me out, dragged me to his bedroom and practically tore my clothes off. He just kept kissing me, not saying a word when I asked him what was wrong. When he was all finished, he held my face in his hands and told me everything.

Of course I was scared too. That horrible feeling coming back.

"Stay here. Don't go on the expedition. Please, Katerina-" I put a finger to his lips, making him stop.

"I'm going." I must have pissed him off because he threw himself off of me and started to pace back and fourth. I sat up, my legs dangling off the side of the bed. I started to get myself dressed, picking my clothes off the floor next to the bed. He stopped and looked at me with a scowl.

"You're not going." He growled.

"You need me." I said. I'm not backing down. We glared at each other.

"I will make you stay."

"Tsk, sure you will. And what do you think would happen if I didn't?" I could see him playing scenarios in his head. Getting frustrated, he ruffled his hair and started to pace again.

"What if you got hurt."

"It wouldn't be the first time." He flinched.

"What if you got killed." He mumbled. I looked him in the eye.

"Then you kill the bastard and carry on. Defeat them all. Bring peace back into this world, even if I left it." That got him.

He waltzed over to me, pulled me to my feet and gripped my shoulders.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare think like that!" He had a hint of pain playing in his voice, but I stood tall. I wasn't going to falter. Not now.

"Why not? You can't do this to me Levi. I joined the scouting legion to help win. I can't help by staying here, sitting on my ass, praying that you'll come back."

"But if you die then that's not helping anything!" I flinched. I knew he was right but I had to go. I had to help. It was my duty. This was my life.

"If I die, then you'll just have one more reason to beat them all." It was his turn to flinch. He gripped my shoulders a little tighter as he leaned his forehead on mine, his eyes closed. I started to cry. I knew there was a possibility that I wouldn't come back. A lot of people didn't come back from the last one. But I had to go, even if that meant I would die. I know that Levi would be crushed, but he would carry on. He would bring the titans down, even if that meant I wasn't there to share the victory.

He pulled his head back and opened his eyes, feeling my shoulders shake from the crying. He leaned in slowly, kissing me. It was a soft kiss. A kiss that I know I wont get often. Levi is a hot head, so soft and comforting kisses wont be as frequent as hard and passionate, even needy kisses. I leaned into the kiss, the tears falling harder. The bad feeling returned, but I pushed it away. I wanted to be happy. If not for me, but for Levi.

My captain.

Levi pulled back and reached up to my face, wiping the tears as I sobbed. I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to feel like this might be the last time. I didn't want to feel like everything between us, might be gone forever.

That I might be gone forever.

The only reason that I feel it would be me and not Levi is simple. He's fought more titans than I have. He's never been caught and almost killed by a titan, like I have. He's strong, smart, fast, everything that I'm not. He's more likely to survive than I am. Of course I'm not saying I am going to die, its just I feel like if it was going to happen to either of us, it would be me.

–

Levi and I barely saw each other before the expedition. We slept together in the same room secretly every night, but Levi always came in while I was sleeping, and left before I woke up. We got to kiss and have sex during any training brakes we could manage, we even had taken a shower together a few times just to see each other. He's just been so busy with Commander Erwin on trying to perfect the formation that we used on the last expedition. At least this time, we don't need to learn a whole new formation.

–

It was only a few minutes before we had to get on our horses and head outside the wall. I had that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Levi just held me as I tried to calm my nerves. We hid behind the stables where our horses were waiting. People didn't know about us, except for Hange of course. But that's only because she knows almost everything about Levi.

"It's still not too late to stay." I pushed him away a little. I was tired of him telling me to stay.

"I'm going and that's that Levi. You can't change my mind about it." He let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah but that feeling should." I looked to my feet. I had told him about the uneasy feeling I had about this expedition, I probably shouldn't have.

"Feeling or not you need me." I looked back up and cupped his face. He was looking everywhere but me. "Please look at me." He didn't. I pulled his face down and leaned my forehead on his. "Please."

He crashed his lips on mine, pushing me hard against the stable wall. He snaked his hands under my buttocks and hoisted me up, letting me wrap my legs around him. He pushed into me more before pulling back from the kiss. He finally looked at me as one of his hands came up and ran across my face. I leaned into his touch and looked at him. He hadn't gotten much sleep, you could see the dark circles under his eyes. He was having nightmares about the last expedition and when Petra died. I knew they were close, he would tell me about how she didn't didn't believe that he was all hard ass and that he was really a big soft teddy bear. Now I don't know about the soft teddy bear part, but he really wasn't as hard as he comes off. He cares, and maybe a little too much.

"Don't you die on me Katerina Weis." I gave a small smile, not being able to promise anything. Because out there, beyond the wall.

Anything can happen.

–

The mission was going well. Well, better than normal. So far we've only had 3 casualties. We were currently resting up and letting our horses graze before we headed out a little further. Levi and I were sitting next to each other against a tree. We were high in the trees in case of any titans. We were biting into our sour bread, and drinking our dirty water, not a word was exchanged between us, not for a while. I was finished. My bread gone, and a quarter of my water also gone. I look over to see Levi staring at his half eaten bread in his hands, which were shaking. I turn fully to him. I know that he was just as scared about this mission as everyone else, but was the only one not able to voice it.

"I know that you're scared Levi, but you need to have faith in the regiment. In yourself. You can do this." H set his bread down and looked at me.

"But what about you." I sighed and rubbed my cheek. "Look I'm not saying that I wont make it, but I need you to be prepared. I mean, not a lot of people escape the hold of a titan for very long. I'm bound to run into another. He looked back down at his hands. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke.

"it was me." I raised my eyebrow at him. "what do you mean?" He sighed and turned to me, his half eaten bread falling to the ground.

"Back when you got that scar. I was the one that saved you." My mouth fell. I shouldn't be so shocked, I mean, I did hear that his squad was there that day, but I don't know, I mean I wasn't on his squad at the time. I just didn't expect that he would help someone he didn't know or care about.

"O-oh. Um, thank you, then." I squirmed under his gaze, somehow feeling uneasy. "Do you want to know why I saved you?" I just nodded, might as well know.

"It was because you reminded me of peace." I looked at him confused.

"That doesn't make sense. I was in the teeth of a titan, and I reminded you of peace?" He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "It wasn't the fact that you were in the bastards teeth, I don't know, I just looked at you, and everything was different. I know it doesn't make sense, but its the truth." I went to speak but a loud BANG rang through the air, followed by shrieks and cries.

Before we knew it, Levi and I were fighting the titans, that uneasy feeling returning. I chose to ignore it and just fight the bastards. It wasn't long until I was caught by one of them. All my swords, gear, legs, a few ribs, and possibly an arm was broken. There was no way I was getting out of this one. The titan squeezed me a little, causing more ribs to crack and me to spit blood as it raised me to its bad smelling lips. It was smiling down at me, like it was enjoying it, which it probably was. I faintly heard someone scream my name, along with the sound of someones gear, but by then, my ears were ringing, my vision also tunneling blurry. I closed my eyes. This must be it, the end. That feeling I got, it must have been telling me.

I felt myself feel like I was flying before being set down on something. I open my eyes, I can barely make the shapes out, but one looks like Levi, and the other Hange. At this point, all I could hear was ringing. I coughed up more blood and the one figure I can presume was Levi, turned to the other and started to scream. I smiled as my vision started to go. I tried to speak, but I think it only came out as a whisper.

"Captian, my..Captian..." The figure turned to me and grabbed my hand. I didn't feel the pain anymore. All I could do was stare at the figure who was holding my hand, talking to me, until my vision went entirely black.

–

We had just gotten back from the expedition. We had a lot of casualties, but no where near as bad as before. Even though it felt like it to me. We had named everyone that was either missing, or dead. Katerina being one of them. I couldn't feel anything at this point. Everyone that I cared for, the ones I loved. Every one of them has died. And all because I couldn't protect them. It was my fault.

We were just about to burn the bodies when I stopped Jean from lighting it.

"Katerina Weis. I want to burn her. Alone. Its the least I could do." He nodded and waited while I retrieved her body. It had started to decompose but I bared with the smell until I was away from everyone else. I went into the woods and found a small clearing that we liked to go on days off. She loved this spot. _'She loved me.'_ I shook my head as I laid her down on the grass. I gathered everything that I needed to build a fire and set it up. I picked her body back up and placed it on the wooden bed, arms crossed over her chest, her head up to the sky. I pulled the patch off her bloodied uniform and stared at it a minute before shoving it in my pocket.

I set the fire underneath and watched as everything slowly lit up, her body included. I sat and watched as the flame died, just as I watched her die. Tears fell silently down my cheeks. No one was there to see. I didn't have to hide.

"You were supposed to pull me from the darkness. You were supposed to stay alive. How dare you leave me here, Katerina. I..." I looked up to the now dark sky. "I loved you, how could you do this to me?"

 _"_ _What if you got killed." I mumbled. Katerina looked me in the eye._

" _Then you kill the bastard and carry on. Defeat them all. Bring peace back into this world, even if I left it."_

I let out a sigh, wiping my face as I left the clearing and back to headquarters. My tears had stopped and my brow was furred. Pain and loss turned into rage.

"I'll kill them. I'll kill them all."

 _The End._

* * *

 **I have an announcement to make! My cousin and I recently have decided to make a joint account on here together and write together! We have tons of stories lined up, so when they start to pop up, I'll let you know! Just keep watching my profile as I will be updating it with information to the joint account! I love you guys and thank you for liking the story! Bye, until next time!**


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